Originally published in On the Level, the magazine of the BMW Riders Association.
What has been learned in 50 years of motorcycling? Unless you have experienced it, there is no way to know that a sunset is infinitely better from the seat of a motorcycle; or that the fine edge of traction exists in the tips of your toes and fingers; or that the funny noise you just heard in the last corner could be your sleeping bag falling off, and if you don’t go back to investigate, you might have a cold night ahead of you.
Or that when it all works just right, you think life may never get better than this one moment, astride a motorcycle. Every bike I have owned over the last 50 years, since I started riding in 1971, every blissful road I have traversed, every knuckle I have skinned, every bolt I have stripped, every bone I have broken, and every friend I have made, have contributed to this great and messy epiphany.
There is no correspondence course in motorcycling that will bestow a degree. There is only the slow, and occasionally painful, accumulation of knowledge. So much of it is useful. And so much more of it is, well, not. To wit:
- That solo motorcycle journeys are good for your home life and your marriage, because they make you realize how good you really have it once you get back.
- That if you have an acquaintance who is also a motorcycle mechanic, you should cultivate that relationship, if necessary, through the purchase of expensive whiskey.
- That motorcyclists are among the friendliest people you will ever meet, no matter what they ride, and a chance encounter with a fellow rider will leave you with an enhanced view of humanity.
- That doing your own work on a motorcycle transcends any practical or economic benefits when performed in a well-lit garage with blues on the box and a refreshing beverage in hand.
- That “1952 Vincent Black Lightning” is the best motorcycle song ever written. You can debate me on this one, but it’s my opinion and I’m sticking with it.
- That the proper use of a torque wrench may save your very soul.
- That a small, anemic two-stroke motorcycle can afford the same pleasure as a liter bike, when used in its proper sphere. And with proper expectations.
- That “Isolastics” are not exercise devices found in a CrossFit gym, but an effective means to cushion riders from the shaking forces in a Norton twin.
- That trying to determine “how many miles I can get out of this tire” is a fool’s game.
- That the performance of modern street bike tires is a subject nearly as contentious as politics on internet forums. But that any street bike tire from a major manufacturer is a damn miracle compared to what we were riding 50 years ago.
- That “Flexible Flyer” refers to both a sledding device, and a vicious two-stroke Kawasaki from the late ‘60s.
- That impassioned, teenage love affairs will not survive a two-up ride in which you poorly execute a corner entry and the girlfriend has to tell her father why she has road rash.
- That a pudding basin, in the motorcycle world, is not a culinary accessory, but a vintage article of protective gear.
- That gassing it, not applying the brakes, can get you out of a lot of trouble off road.
- That motorcycle riding buddies are among the most slovenly, profane, and bad-smelling friends you will ever have. And they are absolutely the best company around a campfire when that bottle of worry-be-gone gets passed around, when you need to solve an intractable electrical problem by the roadside, or need a little marriage counseling.
- That a “Combat Wombat” is not a Warner Bros. cartoon character, but a lovely and wildly popular dirt bike from the early ‘70s that was designed in Oregon.
- That motorcycle buddies with no college education and no apparent love of books will grind you into the ground talking about Nietzsche or existentialism on a lunch stop.
- That several major manufacturers made inline, six-cylinder motorcycles starting in the ‘70s. Nobody bought ‘em, but they made great music, looked fantastic, and went like stink.
- That the Honda Gold Wing was originally a naked bike with four cylinders and exactly no one thought it was destined to be a luxury tourer.
- That it’s better to learn maximum braking on the track, or in a parking lot, than in traffic.
- That you can get a BMW airhead to run perfectly by alternately shorting out each spark plug and adjusting the air and idle screws until each cylinder is on the brink of stalling.
- That a persistent head shake may be due to an unevenly worn tire.
- That after rebuilding a vintage Triumph, the first thing you do is check the oil return. If nothing is coming out, shut it off—quick!
- That a hydraulic lift table is one of the best investments you will ever make. And it’s a bargain compared to a chiropractor or back surgery.
- That a collection of two-stroke dirt bikes from the seventies belching blue smoke, making ear-splitting ring-a-ding noises, and spitting roost is one of the most politically incorrect and wonderful indulgences in motorcycling.
- That when you hear a helmet go thud against the pavement, it has just preserved your ability to do single-digit mathematical equations, and you should be thankful.
- That you should always wait for the guy behind you at an intersection when participating in a group ride. Failure to observe this simple piece of etiquette could submarine an entire trip, and no one will want you to come along anymore.
- That when jumping a motorcycle, it’s not just the launch that counts. You need to spend time thinking about the landing, too.
- That primitive camping on a motorcycle, with nothing but a folding chair, a cook stove, a small but fiery flask of whiskey, and a sunset, is one of life’s greatest pleasures.
I can almost guarantee that your list is better and more extensive than mine. It also means
you’re a hopeless old codger who loves motorbikes. I’m happy for you, and sorry for you, because you have the disease.
But on this we can agree: There is one thing that is instantaneously acquired in the world of motorcycling, which is the love. This happened on the first day, 50 years ago, and it never left. I suspect it never will. Motorcycling is one of the greatest things we have ever imagined, in ways large and small. And our lives would be so much less without it. It is the one enduring thing we have learned without question. Five decades on. Welcome to the future.