Blame the Weather
Confined to the house for much of the winter, I did what any reasonable person of a certain age would do: I bought another motorcycle.
All the Motorcycles I Shouldn’t Buy. But Probably Will.
Originally Published in On the Level, the magazine of the BMW Riders Association. If I were a normal person, I would only want a modern motorcycle. They stop, accelerate, shift, and most importantly, start with robotic precision. And yet, here I am, perusing eBay for Suzuki Titans, Kawasaki Mach IIIs, Hodaka Super Rats, and other leaky…
Two Up
It was never Meredith’s intention to ride motorcycles. In fact, she resisted, But somewhere along the way, she crumbled. And then, she decided she liked it
Commuter Chronicles
Originally published in On the Level, the magazine of the BMW Riders Association. They say if you find a job you love, you’ll never work a day in your life. I’ve had a bunch of jobs that I liked well enough, but I only loved them if I rode a motorcycle to get there. I spent…
Mechanical Misadventures
Over the years I’ve done hundreds of oil changes, valve adjustments, brake bleeds, and tire swaps. I’ve hunted down and exterminated electrical gremlins, changed fork seals, built and trued spoke wheels, replaced bearings, flushed radiators, and even done nut-and-bolt restorations of vintage bikes. Sadly, along the way I’ve also rounded off a hardware store worth of bolt heads, dropped the errant washer down a spark plug hole, and smashed enough knuckles that my wife doesn’t even comment on the bloodbath anymore. This long and messy apprenticeship has elevated my stature from “incompetent” to merely “hamfisted.”
Short Way Round
Originally published in On the Level, the magazine of the BMW Riders Association. “I can’t believe we’re actually doing it!” The refrain rings out through the intercom as my wife, Meredith, and I get underway, echoing the famous words of Charley and Ewan as they begin their 18,000-mile odyssey in “Long Way Round”. The difference,…
Zero SR: Welcome to the World of Pay-to-Play Performance Upgrades
Originally published in RoadRUNNER magazine. Imagine you’re ready to upgrade your motorcycle to make it go faster or farther. Thoughts immediately go to aftermarket parts, or maybe just replacing it with the latest wunderbike. Now imagine simply picking up your phone, opening your motorcycle-specific app, and giving it a couple of swipes. You pay a…
50 Years of Useless Knowledge: A Life in Motorcycling
Originally published in On the Level, the magazine of the BMW Riders Association. What has been learned in 50 years of motorcycling? Unless you have experienced it, there is no way to know that a sunset is infinitely better from the seat of a motorcycle; or that the fine edge of traction exists in the…
Old and New: BMW vs. BMW Motorcycles
The other evening, I was surveying the wreckage that is otherwise known as my garage, and realized that those fun-loving folks in Munich have siphoned off a good portion of my lifetime earnings. Across the decades I have owned an airhead, an oilhead, a hexhead, and a waterhead. Plus an assortment of BMW automobiles. If…
Perfect Motorcycles, and Other Fictions
Originally published in “On the Level,” the official magazine of the BMW Riders Association. My friend James has owned a succession of “perfect” motorcycles—a couple dozen, at last count. You’ve never seen such a parade of perfection. With each new acquisition, he’ll call and say something like: “You can’t believe this bike I just bought: the suspension,…